wed. morning i had planned to have tons of fun and go with my friends up to albany and hang out for a few days. the begining part of this trip was accompanying my friends to their court date in the bronx. right down the street from yankees stadium. anyway. so i go there with my friend partially hung over due to too much tequila and not enough sleep. as we are walking through the security check, the officers find that i have my pocket knife in my bag. i always have it. i also forgot it was in there. no big deal i should be able to pick it and some bike tools that were also in my bag up after my friends court. right? wrong.

my knife was a cool kershaw blade with a weighted handle so that you can open it quick with one had for working where you can't have both hands accesible. i bought it about a year ago at mickeys surplus in kansas city. apparently due to the fact hat it was able to open with one hand new york state law considers it a swith blade, also meaning illegal. so the officers take me to the side and say something about if i say i found it and let them take it then they will let me be on my way. i am sort of confused/annoyed/tired still at this point. i also have to use the bathroom really bad and don't really want to lose my knife. i say "i guess i don't understand why it is illegal" the officer then says ok and walks off. he comes back with a codes book and shows me and then arrests me. why oh, why, did't i just give up my knife.

i spend the next four hours handcuffed to a bench i a cell, after being searched umpteen million times. i have to poop so i am handcuffed to the railing with one hand free to wipe while an officer stand next to me. can you say humiliating. after what seems like forever i am taken downstairs to central booking. here the officers fingerprint me and i have to explain to them how to work the damn finger print machine! i am moved around in these rooms handcuffed, unhandcuffed, and cuffed again multiple times made to take my shoes off lots of times and just generally yelled at and searched more. finally i am put in a holding cell with about 20 other dudes. some of these dudes allready been there over 24 hrs.

i still haven't eaten anything at all that day. a few hours later we are moved upstairs to a bigger cell, 25 feet by 15feet maybe. i am informed by officers and inmates that it could take several days before we see the judge. i am pretty pissed at this point. there is no where to sit no food. and the toilet in the middle of the cell has a wall maybe waist high. no matter how hard i tried i couldn't pee. i was on the verge of pissing my pants but everytime i would try to pee my muscles wouldn't let me. did i mention there are over 20 people in the cell with me! i just sit and sit and sit. every once in a while the officers call some names and send people to see the judge for night court. that of course ends at 1 am.
i sit and sit and then one o'clock comes around and i guess i just go to sleep on the floor. no blankets nothing, just 20 some odd dudes in a cell with all the officers taking their sweet time.

at this time of night i had only eaten a peanut butter sandwhich and then a chesse sandwich. no one seemed to know what was going on. we were deffinently being treated like live stock. everyone says the bronx takes the longest of all the 5 boros to process people, or "bodies" as the corrections officers put it. one cop, the nice one, was giving us advice on how to make things go smoother and told us the judges didn't care cause as long as there were people waiting to be seen then they get tax money. so needless to say the judges and officers and everyone else don't give a damn about you or how long you have been there or who you are. of course we are in the basement and can't see the sun and have no idea what time it is. nor do the ligths ever get turned off.

in the morning we were given a box of rice crispies and some of us got a box of milk. i poured rice crispies into my mouth and then took swills of milk, oh, and i still can't pee even though it really really hurts. so around 10 am. my name is called and i go to anther cell and talk to a lawyer (there are only maybe 12 of us in this cell). a few minutes later i see the judge. i plead guilty to having an illegal knife and get a violation, non criminal, that will be off my record in a year. no other courts no fines, and i am sent home. the judge finds out i am from kansas, asks if dodge city is there when i say yes, he tells me to "get the hell out of dodge" whatever that means.

so all in all i am only out a nice knife and a whole day. i also probably am not going to albany now. but eh, it could be worse. oh, and about to days ago i got caught tresspassing in a building. we hadn't made it to the building yet when some agro security gaurd wearing sweatpants with a lisp told us not to move that the cops were on their way. fucking american hero's. for that i have a court summons on jan 7th. i hope that pans out allright. new york is treating me well!